5w30 or 10w30 in all 4 of my Fords, never burned a drop or leaked a drop. I won't use 5w20, it's for a slight gas mileage increase so they meet standards. And the tolerance thing is internet bull. Motors built many years ago had the same or even better tolerances on internal engine parts. These days tolerances are crap, ask any Subaru owner or Jeep 2.4 owner how much oil their cars burn.
If your car is still under warranty, using oil not according to the manual/book can void the warranty on the engine.
After that, it's a free country!
But tolerance issues are not "internet bull".
Do manufacturers have different priorities than you do? Yes.
Do manufactureres have different priorities today than they did 10 years ago?
20 years ago...?
Etc...
That is nothing new.
Engines today are different than 20 years ago; which are different than engines from 40 years ago; which are different from engines 60 years ago...and for many different reasons.
Engines & drive trains are guaranteed for a certain service life, and the objectives are to have some fairly high percentage of them survive beyond that, in order to minimize overall cost of warranty services, and support, to some extent, resale value of the vehicles.
Tolerances on engine assemblies, and versus lubrication needs are a real thing that engineers study and can specialize in: I know, because I studied it in university, though I did not specialize in it.
Of course, just because an engineer does some calculus, does not mean that the engine ends up being built exactly that way...
That being said, I am not impressed with with the idea of the super small turbo engines they started putting in lately, and it would appear that they are doing worse than I expected...
But do what you gotta do...