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Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina
dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout
line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her
that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added
that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but
that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well
and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my
story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped
off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear end and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in
the world to think of crazy things to say.
dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout
line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her
that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added
that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but
that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well
and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my
story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped
off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear end and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in
the world to think of crazy things to say.
