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Hollywood Squares:�
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course�
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Q.�Do female frogs croak?�
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads underwater long enough.�
Q.�If your are going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?�
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q.�True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.�
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.�
Q�You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?�
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.�
Q.�According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?�
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.�
Q.�Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?�
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.�
Q.�In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?�
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.�
Q.�What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?�
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.�
Q.�As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?�
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.�
Q.�Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?�
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.�
Q.�Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?�
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.�
Q.�In bowling, what's a perfect score?�
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.�
Q.�It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?�
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.�
Q.�During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?�
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.�
Q.�Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?�
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.�
Q.�When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?�
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?�
Q.�If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?�
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.�
Q.�According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?�
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.�
Q.�It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?�
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.�
Q.�Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?�
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.�
Q.�Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?�
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?�
Q.�When�a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?�
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him�
Q.�Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?�
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.�
Q.�According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?�
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh�
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course�
��
��
Q.�Do female frogs croak?�
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads underwater long enough.�
Q.�If your are going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?�
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q.�True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.�
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.�
Q�You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?�
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.�
Q.�According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?�
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.�
Q.�Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?�
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.�
Q.�In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?�
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.�
Q.�What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?�
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.�
Q.�As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?�
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.�
Q.�Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?�
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.�
Q.�Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?�
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.�
Q.�In bowling, what's a perfect score?�
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.�
Q.�It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?�
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.�
Q.�During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?�
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.�
Q.�Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?�
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.�
Q.�When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?�
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?�
Q.�If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?�
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.�
Q.�According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?�
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.�
Q.�It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?�
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.�
Q.�Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?�
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.�
Q.�Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?�
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?�
Q.�When�a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?�
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him�
Q.�Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?�
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.�
Q.�According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?�
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh�
