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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My wife received this e-mail from our local Wal Mart store:

Dear Mrs. Midgley,

Over the past six months, your husband David Jonas Midgley has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Midgley, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. March 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2.March 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. March 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. March 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away! This caused the employee
to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money..

5. April 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.

6. April 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7.. April 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. April 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were
called..

9. May 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. May 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. June 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. June 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.

13. June 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. June 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15.. June 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.' One of the clerks passed out.>>

I guess my wife won't let me go there with her anymore. Oh well, there is always fun to be had at the Home Depot....
:blush:
 

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dude i think we are long lost brothers, i do this kind of shit all the time especially at work, i work at lowes. People come in looking for caulking so take the over there and grab the biggest tube of black we carry and say did you need a big black @#%$ ha ha ha i ask people if they need help with their wood in the lumber dept we do crazy s#!% all the time ha ah ah

***Moderator edited to clean up language.***
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Pete,

I think you helped me the last time I was in Lowe's....
 

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:lol: :hyst: :clap:
 

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yarritspete said:
dude i think we are long lost brothers, i do this kind of *s**** all the time especially at work, i work at lowes. People come in looking for caulking so take the over there and grab the biggest tube of black we carry and say did you need a big black cock ha ha ha i ask people if they need help with their wood in the lumber dept we do crazy *s**** all the time ha ah ah
:lol: :lol:
 

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Except that Walmart is not unionized, and flies in union buster lawyers every time the concept creeps up in any store...

Another reason to hate the place.
 

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jonas1022 said:
6. April 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
:lol:

This is the kind of stuff I do on a regular basis.

:calvin:
 

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:lol:

And you've never been stopped by the "greeter" on the way out?
 

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last time we went, I won. I found a ham sandwich in the Ladies Bra dept. , an Amish guy buying a tracfone, and a mid aged couple. Each of them driving those elec. shopping carts.
 

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jonas1022 said:
My wife received this e-mail from our local Wal Mart store:

Dear Mrs. Midgley,

Over the past six months, your husband David Jonas Midgley has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Midgley, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. March 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2.March 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. March 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. March 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away! This caused the employee
to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money..

5. April 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.

6. April 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7.. April 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. April 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were
called..

9. May 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. May 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. June 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. June 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.

13. June 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. June 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15.. June 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.' One of the clerks passed out.>>

I guess my wife won't let me go there with her anymore. Oh well, there is always fun to be had at the Home Depot....
:blush:
This is the funniest thing I've seen in months!!!!! I can't honestly imagine all of this!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :hyst: :hyst: :hyst: :hyst: :hyst: :hyst: :hyst:
 

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jonas1022 said:
6. April 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

I also did this all the time when i was like 6 or 7, plus take the TP out of the bathrooms and TP the sinks when nobody was looking, In the toy department i would set one of those lifelike toy snakes on the floor when nobody was looking and go into the next isle and hear some kid or old fat lady scream, and i loved it lol. and now i look back on and say "wow was i a nasty kid" lol to say the least.

10. May 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

Just recently i saw some old ******* looking over a HUGE mussleloader in the gun rack at wallymart here, he was so happy he was acting like a little kid, his wife came up to him, who looked just as bad, and he said to the clerk while pointing to his wife "wouldnt she look so hot with this while hunting?" The poor clerk had the most bewildered look on her face and said "have a nice day sir."
 

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:hyst:
 

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13. June 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

I was wondering why the clothes rack was saying this to me ;) :lol:
 
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