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My wife received this e-mail from our local Wal Mart store:
Dear Mrs. Midgley,
Over the past six months, your husband David Jonas Midgley has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Midgley, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. March 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2.March 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. March 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.
4. March 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away! This caused the employee
to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money..
5. April 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.
6. April 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7.. April 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. April 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were
called..
9. May 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. May 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. June 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. June 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.
13. June 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. June 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
15.. June 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.' One of the clerks passed out.>>
I guess my wife won't let me go there with her anymore. Oh well, there is always fun to be had at the Home Depot....
:blush:
Dear Mrs. Midgley,
Over the past six months, your husband David Jonas Midgley has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Midgley, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. March 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2.March 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. March 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.
4. March 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away! This caused the employee
to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money..
5. April 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.
6. April 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7.. April 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. April 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were
called..
9. May 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. May 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. June 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. June 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.
13. June 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. June 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
15.. June 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.' One of the clerks passed out.>>
I guess my wife won't let me go there with her anymore. Oh well, there is always fun to be had at the Home Depot....
:blush:
:bust: :beer:
