[MadMax]

"I never had sexual relations with that woman"...Bill Clinton

 

[MadMax]

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

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Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

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Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

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Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines

 

[MadMax]

Better to say nothing and be thought a fool, then to speak and remove all doubt."

 

[MadMax]

How did they ever get the wagons accross the desert without ducttape and WD 40?

...not to mention liquid nails.

 

[MadMax]

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect to get it back

...along the same line..."if you want to get rid of someone you don't like, lend them 300.00 and tell them you'll need it back next week. You'll never see them again."...I have done this on more then one occasion and found it to be a wise investment.

 

[MadMax]

Err....Jim.....Have you got $300 you could loan me?

Sorry, I kind of like you.

 

[MadMax]

Err....Jim.....Have you got $300 you could loan me?

Sorry, I kind of like you.

Only "Kind of"? '

...Enough NOT to give you 300.00 to go away.

 

[MadMax]

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Hey, stop peeking in my drawers!! :taz:

:shock: ...not a chance, li'l' Bro. :hyst:

 

[MadMax]

Just sayin'.

Go here http://www.FamilyWatchDog.us and put in your address....Very interesting.

...jp is excused from posting his results.

 

[MadMax]

How come my nose runs and my feet smell?

 

[MadMax]

It is not what you gather but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.

Sure makes the grass greener.

 

[MadMax]

:lol:

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Yeah and your prescription is a 20 and his name is usually Joe.

 

[MadMax]

:hyst:

No one is ugly at 2 AM.

True, but I hate having to gnaw my arm off in the morning...While the neighbors are smoking a cigarette.

 

[MadMax]

:shock:

Borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect you to pay it back.

:hi: ...That's how I get rid of people I don't like. Lend someone a 100 and you'll never see them again. It's usually worth it. :cuss:

 

[MadMax]

:shock:

Borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect you to pay it back.

:hi: ...That's how I get rid of people I don't like. Lend someone a 100 and you'll never see them again. It's usually worth it. :cuss:

Geez, your generous!

Can I borrow a C-note?

NO! We're on a membership drive.

 

[MadMax]

A man rushed into the doctor's office
and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down.
You'll just have to be a little patient."

...and get out of the pool. Shrinkage! :shock: