Please help a newbie

When you start the vehicle, a couple of things come into play. The starter has to turn the engine over, which sounds like it's happening. The ignition system has to provide the spark, and the fuel system has to deliver the fuel.

Try this. Put the key in and turn it to the "run" position. That's where the dash lights come on. But DON'T start the engine. Leave it there for 3 to 5 seconds. Repeat that 4 or 5 times.

Then start the engine. Did it start right away or did it start the same as usual?

What you're doing there when you put the key in "run" is priming the fuel pump and building fuel pressure in the fuel rail. If it starts right away, you're probably getting not enough fuel pressure.

I'm heading in this direction first because of the pfffft sound you described. Makes me think the fuel system is relieving pressure.

Good point on the crank sensor. Check the wiring harnesses and connectors on the crankshaft position sensor and the camshaft position sensor. If the wiring and connectors are good, it could be that one of the sensors is the cause.

Yeah, that's why I was thinking it could be a harness or connector problem. If he has a faulty CPS or CKPS, he'd be misfiring all the time, even have the engine shut-down. But even the connector/harness is a best guess (based on symptoms).

Starting issues....airbag light....non-functional radio controls. Hmmm....kinda make me think electrical gremlins.

What's the general condition of your battery? Sometimes a weak or faulty battery can cause several seemingly non-related issues.