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In case you need a laugh:
Remember that it takes a college degree to fly a plane ,but only a high school diploma to fix one.
After every flight Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "Gripe Sheet" which tells the mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, and document their repairs on the form, and then the pilots review the Gripe Sheet before the next flight.
Never let it be said that Aussie ground crews lack a sense of humor.
here are some actual complaints submitted by Qantas polots (marked with a P) and the solution recorded (marked as an S) by the maintenance engineers.
By the way Qantas is the only airline that has never, ever had an acciden.
P: Left inside tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaces left inside tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable volume.
P: Friction lock causes throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoprative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoprative in OFF mode.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.............(Love this one)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogramed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And my favorite is last............
P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel, sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.
Remember that it takes a college degree to fly a plane ,but only a high school diploma to fix one.
After every flight Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "Gripe Sheet" which tells the mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, and document their repairs on the form, and then the pilots review the Gripe Sheet before the next flight.
Never let it be said that Aussie ground crews lack a sense of humor.
here are some actual complaints submitted by Qantas polots (marked with a P) and the solution recorded (marked as an S) by the maintenance engineers.
By the way Qantas is the only airline that has never, ever had an acciden.
P: Left inside tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaces left inside tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable volume.
P: Friction lock causes throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoprative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoprative in OFF mode.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.............(Love this one)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogramed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And my favorite is last............
P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel, sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.