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The following are actual messages inserted in church bulletins.

The actual 1991 Spring Council retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.

The ladies of the church have cast-off clothing of every kind
and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.

The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I upped my pledge - now up yours."

A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church.
It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 P.M. at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who
enjoys sinning to join the choir.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What
is Hell"? Come early and listen to the choir practice.

Irving Beltson and Jessie were married on October 24 in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

The Ladies Bible Study will be held Tuesday morning at 10.
All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S.
 

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:clap:

Colleen said:
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What
is Hell"? Come early and listen to the choir practice.
:hyst: :hyst:
 

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:lol:

<snip>The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I upped my pledge - now up yours."<snip>

:doh:
 
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